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"Well, lookie, lookie...if it isn't my charming associate, Dr. Henrietta Jekyll....you're never away from me...even in your dreams..."
"Please!!!!" his voice had returned...cracking at the moment the sound escaped...
"Please...what?"
"Just put my son down, Hyde...and leave them...it's me you've come for and you know it..."
"My son? Don't you mean, our son?"
"MY son..."
"Tell me, Jekyll...if I were to just...let go of the child...do you think you could move fast enough...and with enough strength...to catch him before he smacks down upon the hard floor? Or would you just let him plummet to his death in hopes that you could destroy any chances of my survival one by one..."
"Don't do it you son of a bitch...I swear, I will kill you..."
"Such a threat would be intimidating under normal circumstances, Henry...but if you kill me...you die, too."
"If that's the way it must happen...so be it...I'm ready to die if it means saving--"
"You're scared of death you twit...but since you're so keen on keeping this little bundle safe, here...catch!" He let go...Henry regained strength in his legs and bolted forward faster than a crack of lightening and caught the wailing child against his chest seconds before reaching the ground...he covered his tiny face in small loving kisses...
"Hush now...you are safe in these arms..." Lucy...is safe...
"Henry..." a woman's voice...it was not Emma...she continued whispering over and over in his ear...he fought to catch his breath and continued on with the action he was carrying out at that point...What is this feeling I have? Why am I letting her do this to me? He began moving his hips at a quicker speed, making sure to maintain the steady rhythm, not wanting the tingling in his body to cease...he could feel her hands kneading into his back...her lips kissing his shoulders and neck...their breathing becoming shorter and faster with each passing second...he felt himself nearing the utmost peak of his sexual desire...
He collapsed against her...trembling as she held him tight...
"Let me lay here with you...don't let me go...don't ever let us go..."
"I'll never leave you...in this ever changing world...let me be the one constant..."
"Always..." My God...I love this woman...I love this woman? Where is she...when Emma is gone...when Emma turns away and fails to return...where is Lucy? Where are you? he felt himself speaking aloud...Lucy...Lucy?? Where...please, help me...
"Henry??" came a soft, yet startled voice from above the doctor's face...his eyes opened abruptly...he saw Lucy...staring into his eyes, her tears falling to his skin. Beside her was John, still in his bandages and covered in bruises...
"What are you doing here?" He sat up quickly and rubbed his eyes...John extended his hand to Henry and helped pull him to his feet...
"Lucy came by your home this afternoon and found me there instead. We got to talking and...it seems we have a few things in common..."
"Such as you...he told me what 'appened...and I remember what you said...but I had to come see you..." He closed his eyes and shook his head...
"Shh, I'm glad to see you...both."
"Henry, why exactly were you on the floor?"
"I must've fallen out of bed..."
"And pushed it across the room in the process, obviously." He pointed at the bed with his cane and then dropped the small bag he'd been carrying on the floor...Lucy walked quietly to the wall opposite where they were standing...as John struggled to move the bed back to it's spot, Henry let his eyes wander over in her direction...he watched as she removed her hat...as she brushed the curls away from her eyes...he examined the movements of her delicate hands...he felt himself becoming lost once again in this vision. She looked up and caught his stare...her cheeks grew flushed. For the first time in her life, she felt herself taken over by a sudden feeling of shyness...she looked away while his gaze remained locked on her, "Henry, please, sit..." he snapped out of his dream and directed his attention to John, "We have a few things that we should really talk about..."
"Before anything, let me apologize..."
"There's no need for anymore apologies."
"But I could've killed you, John..."
"It wasn't you, I know that much..."
"Are you saying..."
"It was he who did this to my face and you are not the one who should--"
"You believe me..." John touched his friend's hand and smiled at the sight of his tears...
"Yes, we believe you." Henry looked over to Lucy who was hanging her head towards the floor. She seemed troubled...even more so than usual. "I brought something of yours with me this morning." "Yes, your journal. I figured you'd like to keep track of what happens during your stay here....you can express your thoughts and every emotion someway instead of keeping them bottled up inside..."
"After all, no one seems to want to listen to me."
"Ah, well...things will change, Henry."
"I hope so." In the world where Henry had trapped himself for so long, there seemed to be a stream of sunlight peering through the blackened sky...it was good to know that there remained people in his life who hadn't lost faith. He had hurt his closest friend...yet there he was before him, smiling, giving his much needed support...obviously not condemning him in his own heart for what Henry had done...and then there was Lucy. A woman who had suffered from so much pain at his own doing...who knew the truth, yet trusted him and held him in her arms despite what had been done to her...who believed in and cared for him enough to be standing there that day...a woman who had undoubtedly won his love. Although, when he looked at her, he resented her in some small way. I love two women...Emma...and now you. You are the one person in this world whom I should not have given my heart to...yet I am weak. Why do you have to be so strong? I can feel your strength every time your hand touches mine. Why do you trust me after knowing what I'm capable of becoming? Why must you love me so much? Perhaps it is you who are my angel...my angel in waiting...my angel who has been waiting for me to accept her into my world. And now I have...and you're here... and the thought which hurt him more than anything followed ...but Emma isn't. True, she had just given birth, but from the way Sir Danvers spoke to him earlier, it didn't seem as if he standed a chance of seeing her any time in the near future.
"Has Sir Danvers come to see you at all?"
"Yes, I spoke with him last night...he told me about Emma and the baby..."
"I figured. What exactly did he tell you?"
"He told me that I have a healthy son...who looks just like me...he told me that Emma is doing fairly well...and that sheÕs also extremely hurt by all this...and most likely will not come to see me." Lucy remained standing in the same place...her heart nearly exploding as they spoke of the son and the once "wife-to-be" of the man she loved, "I often wonder if I'll ever see her again."
"I'm sure you will, Henry. I saw your son this morning."
"How is he?"
"Little Edward is doing fine." Henry's mouth fell open...his brow wrinkled in a look of confusion and uncertainty...
"Excuse me?" John didn't answer, "John, what did you just say?"
"I said your son is doing quite well."
"No, no, no...I could swear you said 'Little Edward'...tell me that I'm hearing things, John..."
"I...I said..."
"You did say his name is Edward. How could Emma do such a thing??"
"Henry, calm down." Lucy stood up straight and prepared herself to run to his side the very moment he showed signs of crumbling...
"How cruel..." he was slowly losing composure, "It's bad enough that I have to live with this sin every day of my life...knowing what I have done...knowing that this child was created in a moment of lust and violence. I have to live with the haunting thought that I let that animal nearly kill this woman who I swore I would do anything to protect....and she goes and names the baby after him?? How could she do this to me? To herself, even...she has to look at this child every day and say that name...remember that night. How could she..."
"Henry, I have no idea what made her do this...are you alright?" Henry stopped his shouting for a moment when he was struck with a realization...
"John...I know why she did this..." Lucy stepped forward...wanting to hold him and take away his pain, "Revenge."
"I don't know. He--"
"What else would explain it then? Why on earth would she name her son after the mad man who raped her...unless she was connected with him already..."
"But it wasn't you.."
"Oh come off it John!! You and I both know that it was me..."
"Only your body, Henry...that's all. Don't you start believing that you're the demon..."
"But he dwells deep in here!!" he shouted, pounding on his chest, "...and now...if I ever thought I could escape hearing his Godforsaken name, I can say goodbye to my hopes...I will have to live in his shadow with this constant reminder of his presence for the rest of my life...Emma has made sure of that."
"Do you really believe that?"
"I know it, John. I know it deep inside. We hurt her in a way that can never be forgiven...and I say 'we'...he may have afflicted the physical harm...but I was too Goddamn weak to stop it...and I lied to her, John. I lied to that innocent child and let her believe that was something I'm not. We are both to blame for what has happened...and this is her way of making me suffer for what has happened. I'd be lying again if I told you that I didn't deserve this. But...I can't help but hate her for doing it...never in my life have I dreamt of placing 'hate' and her name in the same sentence..."
"Henry...you're gettin' yourself all worked up, love. Please, try to calm down a bit." But he ingnored Lucy's pleas and continued...
"At this moment...I both love and hate her. I never dreamt that it would be possible to feel such overwhelming emotions at the same time for this girl. She was always my support...and...this may seem so incredibly selfish...why did she choose now to hurt me? Oh hell, I deserve her revenge. This may seem strange but I would've been able to deal with her leaving me much easier...but this...how could she name this baby after Edward Hyde? What was she thinking..." At last came his tears. He had fought to hold them inside, but his heart ached and there was no way of hiding that. Lucy walked over slowy and knelt in front of him...placed her hands on his knees and tried to smile. He leaned forward covering his face...she kissed the top of his head...and said quietly...
"I know you're hurtin' right now, Dr. Jekyll...and you don't need to have mindless chatter fill your 'ead..."
"Lucy, please, maybe we should go now." Henry shook his head...
"No...not her. She stays. You can leave if you wish, but don't take Lucy with you."
"Perhaps I should leave you two alone for a while." Neither of them answered, "I'll be with Dr. Slusar when you need me." He went to the bag that rested on the floor...opened it quietly and removed Henry's journal, his pen and a small envelope, placed them on the table and was on his way.
"Henry..."
"Oh Lucy, what is happening to me??" he wept into her neck as she held him close, "I'm starting to believe that I'm crazy..."
"No, no...you're not crazy. You're just misunderstood." He lifted his head from her shoulder and smiled through his tears...
"I'm so sorry Lucy...for all the hurt I may have caused you..."
"I know, my sweet doctor. You told me that many times...you don't 'ave to anymore. That's ova' now." She gently caressed his face...
"Where did you come from..."
"I've been here all along, 'enry..."
"...I know...would you kiss me?" and so she did...so softly...keeping her eyes slightly open so she could see him...
He's so beautiful...body, mind and spirit...and he loves me, "Thank you..." she whispered so quietly...not quite sure if he'd heard her. She lovingly placed gentle kisses across his face...wanting to make him smile. "Whatever happens...you always have me." His eyes locked on hers and he smiled. "I wish I could stay with you, Henry, but I can't."
"I know this." he whispered, "but if I ever leave this place--"
"When you leave this place, I'll be waiting for you to return to these arms where you are welcome now and forever. Know that."
"I do now. Oh Lucy, I'm so sor--"
"Don't start this again!! You have apologized for all these things over which you've had no control. I have forgiven you so many times, can't you jus' accept it?"
"No, no, no. Lucy, I can't help it. Do you know what it's like living each day with this overwhelming sense of hopelessness and guilt, and having no one believe you when you say you're sorry? I'm sorry for hurting you, I'm sorry for pushing you away when all you wanted was to love me."
"I loved you even then."
"How??"
"Unconditional love, darling."
"I don't think I can ever understand--"
"Don't try to understand it and be all logical and scientific or whatever it is that you're trying to do, just accept it and give in to it. There's nothing stronger, Henry, no demon or drug could ever destroy that. I love you for the kindness you show me, the man you are, or should I say 'men'?" She said jokingly, winking at him and he laughed aloud.
"I'm so glad you find humor in my agony."
"Well, what else am I supposed to do? Sit here and wallow in your misery along with you? You've been sad for much to long. If anythin', I want to take away from it and try to brighten ya' life, not add to it's darkness."
"There's an awful lot of darkness, Lucy, I wish you all the luck in the world." They grew silent for a moment, "Can I tell you something?"
"Of course you can."
"What I'm about to tell you will most likely completely ruin the tone of this conversation, but I have to be honest with you or I'll never be able to li--."
"Out with it already."
"As Hyde, I raped Emma. That's how this baby came to be. It wasn't a night shared together complete with romance and gentleness, it was a nightmare. He nearly killed her and then left me to nurse her after the fall." She stared at him, searching for something to say, "I knew it was only a matter of time before he got to her. I hate myself for letting it happen, like you said...I have no control over him. There was nothing I could do. But you have to believe me, Lucy, I tried to stop him. I did, I swear to you." he said, suddenly seeming very shaken and nervous...
"I know, I know, Henry. Why would you let him harm your Emma in such a way without even trying to save her? Calm down, please. Don't get frantic on me now, sweet'art."
"And what's so confusing to me is that while I was helping that girl who I'm supposed to love and cherish more than anything else in this world, all I could do was think of you!!! I kept seeing your face and remembering what horrible things he had done to you and it made me crazy."
"Henry, please..."
"No, I have to finish." he rose from the chair and walked to the opposite side of the room, his hands shaking terribly and tears streaming down his face. He turned to her, "He nearly killed John and I, again, could do nothing to prevent it. I should've just given up all hope with this stupid drug of mine when the governors first denied me this right to experiment on a patient here and never let that poison enter this body. That animal destroyed everything in my life...and took so much away from others. Whatever I touch seems to fall apart. Can you see now why I don't understand how or why anyone could love me?? If I could only go back in time and fix this..." he couldn't go on. Lucy ran to his side and took him in her arms, holding him tight and running her fingers through his hair as he cried.
"Please, don't cry. I can't stand seeing you this way, Henry...please? For me?"
"Everything...I've lost everything..." he said between sobs...
"No!! You 'aven't lost everything!!! Look at me....I'm here and I'm neva' gonna' leave you, my sweet doctor!! Never. I've been through too much to be where I am now and nothing going to tear me away." He pulled away and held her by the arms....
"Can you promise me that? Please? Promise me right now and mean it. Emma had once before but things have changed and I want to know that you mean it when you say you'll never leave me...because I don't think I'll be able to handle losing a love again."
"I promise you, Henry...I promise that no matter what may happen, you have my love always and I will forever be here for you. I promise, sweetheart...shh, stop crying. I believe in you, darling...now I ask you to believe in me." He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her up from the ground and held her tightly against his body in an embrace which seemed to last an eternity. When he lowered her back to her place, he couldn't resist his need to touch her mouth with his own and drown in the comfort of her warmth. He leaned in to catch her lips so quickly and caught her by surprise that she couldn't help but let a small giggle escape. She slid her arms around his neck and let her body melt against his, ecstatic to be in this familiar stance with the one man whom she adored. How wonderful it was to feel him relaxed in her arms, surrendering to love and desire they both knew he held for her.
Although she thought that furthering their "encounter" would be inappropriate given his condition, she couldn't resist. Simply seeing his face aroused every desire in her. She ran her fingertips down the middle of his back, then up again...reaching his neck and then his shoulders. She kissed them gently and then pulled away...looking directly in his eyes and smiling. He returned the gesture and proceeded to kiss every inch of her bare neck...then her collar bone and shoulders...wrapping one arm completely around her waist and cupping the back of her neck with is other hand. Lucy closed her eyes and imagined their first night spent together...how complete she was the moment she felt him inside her, the sensation of his bare body gently moving against her own. She longed for another moment such as that one, yet she soon began to feel as though their current exchange should cease...
"Henry..."
"Yes..." he mumbled as he continued kissing her...
"I don' think we should do this now." He stopped and then looked down at the floor...
"I think you're right. But I have to say," he whispered, "I feel a little bit better ."
"My sunlight is breaking through the darkness then, hmm?" He smiled at her, "'ave you been sleeping much? The circles unda' your eyes are horrible."
"Whatever sleep I do receive is drug induced and quite uneasy. Besides, it'll take years to wipe these away. I haven't slept through the night with a clear mind in months. Ever since this experiment began, I've been running myself ragged. I didn't think I needed rest...after a while I longed for it but could never have it and now...now I've reached the point where I don't care if I ever close my eyes again."
"I'm 'ere now, I want you to sleep."
"But I'm not tired..." he laughed at her.
"Sleep, 'enry, please...or at least try to, for my sake. I don't what else I can do for you otha' than this. Let me help somehow."
"You're going to help me sleep? How are you planning to do that?" She took his hand in hers and led him to the bed. She stood there for a moment looking at him and waiting for him to respond. Instead he appeared rather confused, "I thought you said we should-"
"No, no, no. I want to sleep together. Nothing more than that." He closed his eyes and chuckled to himself, signs of his severe exhaust breaking through as he went to speak, his tired, scratchy voice almost cracking...
"Pardon me, m'lady, if my thoughts wandered off to something else."
"Lay down, 'enry." He crawled onto the bed and let his body collapse against the cool, white sheets. She walked to the other side, lifted all her skirts and propped herself up next to him...motioning for him to rest up against her. He placed his head on her stomach, let his aching muscles finally relax and closed his eyes, "There we go...relax...sleep now." She traced her fingertips over his mouth, then his cheeks and finally his forehead. His breathing became slower and more relaxed...she knew he was finally almost completely fast asleep. His shirt was open almost halfway...she slid her right hand into his shirt as gently as she could without disturbing him and stopped once she was able to feel the pounding of his heart. She looked down at his peaceful face and whispered, "I'll be your dream catcha'. May you have nothing but the sweetest of visions."