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God can heal a broken heart...but he has to have all the pieces" --Annonymous
Emma lay in bed staring off into the distance, completely lost in thought. She could hear the faint cries of her son coming from the other room as Veronica washed him up. He had spent most of the afternoon in his mother's arms. Emma tried with all her heart to let him inside and see past his face which bared a striking resemblance to Henry, but she didn't feel the way most mothers do when holding their newborn. It bothered her...and she was scared that she would have hostile feelings towards her son for the rest of her life.
It had been four days since the child had been born, yet she still wasn't feeling quite right. There was a constant ache down below along with light bleeding. She had been told that it was normal after childbirth, but still, she was worried about her health...and even with the new addition to her life, Emma felt more alone and more terrified than ever.
Her father knocked gently on the door...
"Yes..." she answered. The sweetness and tenderness which only added to her already musical voice, had vanished.
"May I come in, darling?" she smiled...
"Of course...." He walked in and sat down on the edge of her bed directly next to her and took her hand.
"So, my love, how are you feeling? Better, I hope..."
"Mm, just a little bit. Not as much as I'd like, unfortunately."
"In due time, I promise. You're getting exactly what you need...rest. My poor girl, you've been through so much. I wish I could make things easier for you."
"I know you do." at that moment, the baby began to cry...Emma closed her eyes and sighed, "I hate hearing that..."
"It's something you'll have to get used to. Babies cry, Emma. Be prepared for many sleepless nights."
"I'm aware of that, too. Father?" she said curiously, "What is it?"
"Ah, you're always able to tell when I'm hiding something."
"That's right...you're unable to look in my eyes and you sniff. Whatever it is, just tell me. I've heard enough outrageous stories lately...I've learned to deal with them."
"Well Emma...this is not so much a secret. It's just that," he paused for a moment, "I went to visit Henry, as you know. Now before you become all flustered, let me finish. Darling, I can understand how you may not be able to sympathize with the man, however, I do think you should go to St. Jude's and at least listen to what he has to say. There's no harm in talking to him."
"What would I say to him, daddy? I refuse to tell him that he can always trust that I will never leave him because if I did...I'd be lying."
"I didn't say that you need to tell him such things...and he doesn't expect it to hear it, either. Believe it or not, he's well aware of the mess he's made. He knows it, I've made sure of that...and don't think for one minute that his guilt doesn't--"
"You're awfully defensive of him, aren't you...why is that..."
"He's a human being, Emma. If he goes on being persecuted for the things he's done, I fear he will never recover from this illness. He needs to have some reassurance that there is a chance for him."
"And you're saying that I should be the one to give it to him, aren't you."
"I'm simply saying that you should consider going to see him, sweetheart. I'm not telling you to profess undying love or anything such as that. And, I may be out of place saying this to you, but your love has not abandoned him yet, has it my dear?" she didn't answer, "...at least help him remember that. All it will take is one glimpse of your face, my darling." With that, he kissed her forehead and whispered, "I love you, Emma...and think about what I said, would you?"
"I will father...good night."
"What is this??" asked a familiar voice. Henry's eyes opened quickly and recognized the scent which had filled the room. That sweet scent of perfume, the sweet, innocent voice which could only belong to one woman...Emma.
"Oh my God." he said, sitting up quickly, and startling Lucy.
"Oh..."
"Lucy, leave us for a moment, please." Emma stood before them, near tears...from both anger and hurt.
"No, why make her leave? She's obviously well acquainted with you."
"No, miss, I'll go now." She ran over to the table, grabbed her hat, and left as fast as she could. Henry watched her flee from the room.
"After an extremely convincing speech from my father, I decided it would be best if I were to come see you. I hardly expected to find a woman in here...or you sleeping in her arms, for that matter. What is going on?"
"That was Lucy..."
"The prostitute."
"Excuse me?"
"Henry, you don't have to lie to me anymore. For the first time in this 'thing' we have together, be honest with me." her voice was beginning to break, "Whatever you have with that woman has nothing to do with us...so don't explain anything to me because I don't want to know."
"Oh Emma, you don't know--" he tried to take a step closer to her and reached out to touch her cheek...
"Don't touch me, Dr. Jekyll. You don't have that right anymore." His eyes widened at her sharp response...
"Emma..."
"Henry, for the past few days I've had quite a large amount of time to sort through my jumbled feelings and I can't be a part of this anymore." she said trying to hold back her sniffling, "When you first set out on this journey, I thought that everything would work out fine...and if it didn't, we'd always have each other. But somewhere along the way, that one consolation I relied upon too greatly began to disappear. You always had me Henry, but I was losing you."
"You were never losing me, Emma. I was always assured that you were the one constant to balance out this messed up equation and deep down inside, I thought you felt the same way. Why didn't you ever tell me this before? All you had to do was say the word..."
"You dove so deeply into your studies and your experiments that I felt as though your love for me was being replaced. Even my admittance to loathing your work wouldn't have been able to pull you away."
"Never, Emma...that's not true."
"You sound as though you feel I should believe you. But you seem to forget your constant absence...it only made me feel even more alone. We were to be married, Henry. How can you expect me to do it all alone? I needed you to make it complete." He knew she was right and nothing he could say would justify his actions in her eyes, but he had to say something...
"If I were to have taken you into that laboratory with me, there's no doubt in my mind that you would've been dead the moment he clamped eyes on you. It wasn't fair to you and I had no intention of exposing you to that sort of madness."
"You should've let him kill me then and gotten it over with!! I wouldn't be the poor excuse for a woman I am now!! Young and alone with a child by a sick and selfish man who loves no one but himself!! I hate you Henry Jekyll!! You acted as though you were someone that you aren't and never will be...and I hate myself for ever falling in love with you!!" she yelled at him, finally losing her composure. Her tear stained face was now flushed and full of rage. He had never imagined she was capable of speaking so strongly. "All that time I spent standing beside you and being supportive of your every endeavor and idea...and this is what you give me in return?" He couldn't speak...but he felt a sudden attack of hysteria slowly creeping upon him. "Do you have any idea how badly you've hurt me, Henry? You allowed yourself to become so carried away with this craziness of yours that it ended up like this...you raped me, Dr. Jekyll, do you realize that? Rape. How can you even live with the thought that you nearly killed me because your stupid drug caused this hallucination of yours which you call a 'side effect'?" She began to lose color to her face and appeared to be losing her sense of balance...immediately, Henry thought that she was going to faint. After all, she had given birth to a child two days prior to their meeting and she should've been home resting. He would've tried to help her, but had he even attempted to touch her, she would've most likely smacked him.
"You...have..to..understand, Emma...I tried to stop it."
"Don't cry now...no, Henry. I sympathized with you once...and I loved you even more, but things are different. I've changed. I've matured and I'm not the naive little girl you thought you had brainwashed. There are things that I need in this life...one of them is a husband whom I can trust with my life and love more than anything else in this world. I thought I had found all that in you, but sadly, I suppose I was wrong. I can't spend the rest of my life following you around like a good little foot soldier or looking into the eyes of our son day after day knowing that he was created in a violent rage by my own husband!!!! You say you tried to stop it...well why didn't you?!?!?" she screamed at him and reached the point where she could no longer speak. Her shoulders heaved forward, she covered her face and wept. He cried along with her and grabbed her despite her protesting and held her close to him. She fought with him, pounding on his chest, attempting to tear his arms away but finally surrendered to his embrace.
"I don't expect you to forgive me for what I've done...but I--" feeling much more calm, she pushed him away gently...
"I will never be able to forgive you for the things you've done. But I have to forget. If I go on with my life forever thinking of you, I won't be able to survive and our child will be miserable...and I won't let that happen." At that moment, he realized that he still loved her. That he would give up all that he owned, all of the person he was if it meant she would take him back...and that was one thing he had to make known before he let her walk out of his life...
"Are you going to hate me for the rest of your days, Emma..." he whispered quietly, unable to look in her eyes...
"I honestly don't see where that makes any difference at this stage of the--"
"Will you or won't you, Emma, just answer me..." she didn't answer. He interpreted that as a "yes." "Would you do me a kind service, Miss Carew..." he said. Emma squeezed her eyes shut and felt her lip beginning to tremble. That was how he addressed her when he first asked for her hand in marriage. The exact words...and the sound of his voice brought her back in time to when things were actually beautiful between them. She did love him. It was then that she remembered what it felt like. "All I ask is that you listen to what I'm about to say...nothing more. Emma Carew, I love you so much...and you will always be in my heart until the very moment I breathe my last breath. What I have done is unforgiveable...but I'm so sorry for my sins against you, my love. I never dreamed that I would lose you this way. I always imagined we'd grow old together and be parted by a stronger force from the heavens. I pushed you away...and pulled you back in...and pushed you away again and let myself continue my journey alone. I am selfish. I am sorry that I let myself go and took of your body the way I did...I'm sorry that this child of ours has to live with this marking on his soul...and I'm sorry that even the most gentle...sincere words...cannot make you see that I love you and would give all that I have in this life of mine just to hear you tell me one last time that you love me, too." He remained standing behind her....the both of them in tears by that point...wanting to hold each other...but knowing it could never be.
"Henry...I...I don't want to leave you. As much as I wish I could just yell and scream forever and a day at you for making me so angry and for treating me so badly, I don't want to leave."
"You said--"
"I know what I said. And I still feel that way. But..." she wiped the tears away quickly, "we can't be together, Henry. It's so clear that this could never work. You say you will try to stay away from this obsession of yours, but you and I both know that you are incapable of doing that. We're so different from the way we were when this all began...it's best we start anew."
"Will I ever see either you...or our son...ever? After you leave this room....is the end of everything..."
"I don't know, Henry. I need time to figure out where to go from here." He stood quietly and waited for her to leave...she straightened herself up and started slowly towards the door...looking once behind her. She dropped her hand from the large knob and took in a deep breath...ran to his side and threw her arms around him. She squeezed tightly and took in the smell of him for once last time, whispered in his ear, "I'll love you always" and went quickly to the door, walking out of the room...and out of his life.